The Jew Spot

When the Shaindy.com epidemic broke out, The Jew Spot had to get in on it. Lucky for us, founder of Shaindy not only gave us an interview, but VIP access. Little did we know we’d find ourselves in a website equipped with a dating expert, a pro-cheating column, 13 new messages from men who all want to chat with me, and oh yeah, pornography. Did I mention most of the members on here are “Religious,” i.e. Orthodox or Chassidic?

But before you jump to conclusions, Jerry (founder’s pseudonym for safety purposes) said he was simply addressing a need - and the numbers prove it. Only a two month site and there are nearly 2,000 members, 12 of which signed up while we were chatting. All he had to do was go on Craigslist to see the religious Jewish community putting personals up for affairs to understand there is a market for this. And it doesn’t hurt that his wife is all about it, too.

So what happens on this site and why has it become so popular in the religious community? Read our interview with Jerry here.

Thanks for taking the interview. Can you tell us who Shaindy.com is made for?

Well Shaindy is basically for married people who want an affair or just a listening ear from other people "to vent" or "distress." The idea was there is NO such venue in the Jewish community.

Every day I would see on Craigslist ads from the "frum" community. We [wife and I] started talking to them and realized there was a big need for it.

We have all kind of people in here – Chassidic, Modern Orthodox, Conservative, Reform. It’s fair to say it’s for Jewish people.

What surprises me is that especially for the Orthodox community, they are very tight knit. There must be a fear in meeting someone who they already know.. or know their rabbi? How is that addressed?

Over here you can chat with someone for a while before you open up and you make sure you chat with someone who has the same beliefs as you have.

Why do you feel that people who are looking to have an affair want someone with the same beliefs, especially same religious beliefs for those more religious on the site?

When people have the same issues and problems it is much more comfortable to connect with those kind of people. It’s more of a challenge to get a girl or guy from your background. They will UNDERSTAND you way more because they are in the same situation.

Obviously there is a need for it. I am checking the stats on my site as we speak and there are over 3000 chat/messages between members on a daily basis.

What is it (marriage structure, religious structure, etc.) that you feel causes those logging onto your site to seek out an affair?

Well I am obviously not the professional to answer that but I would just believe that we are in the same boat as any other religion or race and people always like to think that we are holier than thou and it [affairs] does not happen here. But that’s not the case!!

Our community has the same needs as any other community let it be dating, drugs, cheating or whatever and it’s silly to think we are "different." Yes, in deed, there are lots of miserable people here. LOL.

As someone who is religious yourself, do you feel at all this is going "against" your religion?

Well, that’s a whole separate interview but here goes it. I was "brought" up religious but I believe in SHIT basically. So, I have no GUILT in me whatsoever. I find many, many, many people sharing the same beliefs as myself.

Do you feel that Shaindy and other online resources could be a push for people to leave the religious community?

I don’t think so! People are stuck in a situation and they just "sweat it out," so to say!! They have kids, they have family pressures. It’s a viscous cycle.

I am a little bit lucky I have a wife who sort of is on the same page like myself. MOST people don’t have and that’s a major problem.

Are either of you worried that the two of you will be using it to have an affair?

NO!! We are into the swinger lifestyle. We go to swinger clubs and we do it ONLY together. We have a great marriage. And we have already met a nice Chassidic couple from Shaindy. [Yes, this guy is totally opened.]

So I have to ask about hate mail. I’m sure you get tons.

People send us quotes from Torah how we are gonna pay for this and we will die and my family will get cancer and they will find me and kill me -- shit like that. I am already immune to this crap.

Interesting story I have though......

One guy sent us email of hate. My wife opened it and asked him to call her (we have a special unpublished number untraceable). He called and start yelling at her... yada yada yada. Half hour later he broke down about his marriage and asked my wife for a date, haha. So there!!

I’m not sure if that’s funny or sad.

As you can see, I am enjoying this way much more than I should. Are you into couples?

...And with that we close this interview. Thanks Jerry. By the way, if anyone is looking for a job, Shaindy is hiring for a secretary position. Just thought I'd mention it.

Are you on Shaindy.com or have a related story to share with us?? Email us at FindMyJewSpot@gmail.com.